Good morning, everyone. I am here today to bring you some hard-hitting journalism with a detailed analysis of the nuances, themes, and symbols to be found in the popular Netflix series, “Emily in Paris.”
Ha, just kidding. I’m just here to tell you my rambling, sleep-deprived thoughts while watching this guilty pleasure show after I tucked my 18,000 children into bed for the night (ok, I don’t really have that many children, but that’s what it feels like most days, thanks 2020). Because there is nothing remotely the same about my life as a mom of 5 handling virtual school, a toddler who enjoys drinking the dog’s water, and piles of laundry bigger than the Louvre itself.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
First things first…
Please tell me Gabrielle is not like 20 and I’m a pervert, because BONJOUR GABRIELLE.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B2qhWaIIhpg/
Ever mysterious, actor Lucas Bravo is said to be about 32. Phew.
When Madeline puked into a trash can after sniffing that perfume, ugh I felt that to my core.
Oh, and then had to give up her lifelong dream of moving to Paris, NBD, right? Because everyone knows moms have to happily sacrifice everything for their kids *eye roll*
I low-key want to be as cool as Sylvie someday.
Minus, you know, the smoking and the whole affair with that sleazy, lingerie-buying dude. Gross.
OK, I know I’m old now because I have 10 million children, but I’m pretty sure that’s now how social media works.
*posts one selfie, gets legions of followers overnight *
Does Emily get paid an extravagant salary and get as much work done in a full day as a mom can accomplish in 30 minutes?
Why yes, yes, she does. It appears the only real work she has done is typing a to-do list on her first day. Good job, Emily!
I’m irrationally annoyed by Camille downplaying her parents’ champagne chateau.
IT’S A CHATEAU, WHAT PART OF THAT IS UNIMPRESSIVE?
Pop quiz: does one of Emily’s “work” outfits cost more than I have spent my mom wardrobe in 10 years?
If you answered yes, you would be 100% correct.
Me, who has never done an Instagram video in my life:
“Berry chic?” What is this crap, Emily?! We’re supposed to believe you have a Masters degree in marketing? There are 8-year-olds making more professional videos than this, come on.
You know what? Emily is the least interesting part of this show.
I literally am way more interested in the scenery and every other character than her.
I need that pain au chocolat in my life STAT.
I’ve actually had the pleasure of eating some real-life Parisian pain au chocolat and I can confirm: they are just as amazing as Emily’s uncomfortable moaning makes them out to be. I ate 3 a day for a full month in college and somehow, by Parisian magic, I lost weight. Ah, to be young and eating pain au chocolat in Paris.
